Tuesday, May 12, 2009

My Life Poem. (Part 1?)

*I share this with you in part as a way to keep me motivated. If the energy is shared it is more likely to come back. Read this, find your own inspiration, live your own moments as best you can...and keep it going.*

This is my Life Plan.

I could write “I Will” to begin each statement, but that supposes that each thing will be done…eventually. I am this person. I AM these – right here, right now. (For those that I am not, I admit FULLY ok with it...and am working right now on being what and who I am.)

I am a beautiful, strong, vulnerable, spiritual, sexy, intelligent, sensual, caring, tender woman.

I spend each minute AWAKE.

I choose to breathe, fully, every moment I can remember to so that, after awhile, it becomes habit. I get drunk on the sweet nectar that flows down my throat with each inhale and rid myself of what I no longer need with each exhale.

I live my moments in reflection of the person I am. Every activity, no matter how mundane, is devoted to my JOIE DE VIVRE.

If I find myself not wanting to do what I am doing, I stop, take a breath, and either change course or develop gratitude that I am able to be here, now, doing this.

I raise my kids with awareness that they are learning from every single thing that I do, every single moment of the day. I am either contributing to their sense of being alive or I am not.

I grow through diversity. Sometimes I release into silence, the birds singing in my back yard, a gentle shaded living room, a prolonged kiss on my child’s forehead. Sometimes I dance with boisterous pop music, sing on the sidewalks in public with my kids, skip for no reason, pound away on the Wii drums.

Sometimes I am strong through my words and actions, sometimes I am strong through my absence of any action at all.

I am ok with every conscious decision I make. Drinking an iced chai and a glass of wine every day doesn’t make me a bad person. Skipping the chai and the wine doesn’t make me a good person.

If I am aware that I am off course – evidenced all too often by negativity towards my husband, lack of patience towards my children, or general lack of interest in the day’s activities – I stop. I take the time that I need to refocus and become re-inspired and start again.

When I stop to re-energize, I find the appropriate source of energy. HGTV might inspire me if I don’t know what to do with the day, but will not help me engage with my husband. Likewise, a long hug with my husband or my children will bring us together, but may not help me in the middle of the day when I don’t know what to do next.

Nature, when properly given attention, is always a good source of energy. When properly sipped, so is a good iced chai.

I always keep the big picture – my joie de vivre – in mind when moving forward.

I always remember that everyone else is searching for their own joy in life, whether or not it appears so at the time. During the times I have it to share, it is my responsibility to be joyful for both myself and those around me.

Ignorance is a sleeping pill and I choose not to judge those who are sleepwalking. Those who are awake may only be so momentarily and are struggling in the same manner I am. I choose not to judge those who suffer to find happiness just like myself.

Because every Now is the only time I have to make a decision, and because one will be made for me if I choose not to make it, I decide to have a say. The wind will blow in the rains but it is up to me if, when stuck in the rainstorm with a kid on my hip and the other splashing in puddles, I choose to delight in the cool tingles on my cheeks or get pissed that my jeans are wet.

One body. That is it, it’s all I have. I choose to take care of it as best as I can through properly hydrating it, building and rebuilding it with energizing nutrition, strengthening it through exercise and activity, and indulging it regularly with luxurious beauty treatments and occasional dark chocolate and Uno’s pizza.

I am so much more than a body. I devote myself to mindfulness, yoga, spiritual exploration, and regular meditation not because I have to but because it is a direct and blissful way to be who I am.

I accept that this list is ongoing as is my life. I may add to it at any time. I may change my mind. I may completely abandon it in favor of something else. I may even eventually abandon my idea of self. Time ticks on.

Time to be living.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Find the Unicorn...

So many things to share! I think constantly of ideas on which to blog, but, as evidenced by the lack of entries here, only about 1% actually make it to the computer. Here's one that finally got there.

I recently watched a movie with my kids that we rented from the library (free entertainment - YEA!): The Voyage of the Unicorn. One of the catch phrases of the movie was "Credendo Vides" - By believing, one sees. A magical thought for sure. Ironically, this ties into more mainstream ideas upon which I've been reflecting - namely, how our perceptions shape our world.

A quick example: Growing up I was most certainly not the popular child. I would often hear others talking about me behind my back. This grew into a habit of assuming people were always thinking the worst of me. When passing someone in the hallway, I'd "KNOW" they were judging me and always kept my eyes down to avoid the inevitable scowling stare.

Because I believed this, I saw only judgement around me. I felt only judgement from others. Until my more recent years as I started understanding how my views shaped actual experience, I didn't realize that I was making this so. By assuming everyone was judging me and didn't want to be friendly, I acted towards them in a distanced manner (in theory to protect myself). If the other person had no judgments originally, however, my distanced behavior could cause them to act towards me in an unfriendly manner...thus creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Today it is fun to take this idea much deeper. What if what we believe truly is what we see? If we believe the world is a beautiful place, despite all of the suffering and hate, we see the caring innocent nature of every human being we encounter (even though sometimes it may be hidden behind layers of fear and defenses). On the other hand, if we believe humans are ultimately selfish, uncaring creatures out for physical survival...well, it isn't a pretty picture.

Today, just for fun, try to believe in the good. Regardless of what you do, who you encounter, believe that is is all ultimately beautiful and that each person is ultimately desiring the same happiness you are. Who knows what could happen? If truly what we believe is what we see (and we act based on what we see)...imagine what life could become. And who knows - perhaps one of us will run across that elusive unicorn.