Creativity Wellsprings

There is truly a downside to creative energy. It is a darn hard thing to shut off. I was up well past 1:30 a.m. last night thinking of and recording new mixed-media projects. I'd shut off the light with full intentions to fall asleep and *BAM* another idea would pop into my head that I simply couldn't ignore. Poor hubby probably got so sick of the *click*, (scribble, scribble), "Last time, I promise, I'm sorry", *click*.........*click*.

Regardless, I'm loving this tidal wave of creative flow. As you may or may not have noticed, I've created a few other blogs that are recording things that I feel deserved there own space. I'd love to give my "craft" projects their own blog, but they'll wind up here for now. ("Crafting" is beautiful, yes, but has such a country-, hobbyish-, sold-in-a-cluttered-store-with-a-very-strong-candle-scent- type feel. I'm all about that from time to time, but feel much more energized and free to explore projects when I say I'm "creating". Just to clear that up. In case you care.)

Today's project? (I did get a few loads of laundry done, the kids fed and entertained, dishes done, and all of my creative materials moved upstairs out of the utilities room so I could organize them...but beyond that...)

I finally got around to making that pillow with a button that I've been meaning to attempt. This is only my third pillow (and thus, my third attempt at cutting & using the sewing machine). But it was loads of fun.

I got inspired by some fabric I found during a trip with my mother-in-law. A few incorrect cuts meant I had to keep adjusting the size of the pillow. (That's the fun of creating, though - there are no mistakes.)

I had planned to go to the store to find a color of fabric for the last square on the pillow, but remembered a tip I'd just read: tea-staining! So I grabbed some leftover cotton swatch I had from years ago and attempted my first tea-stained fabric (and embroidery thread). The top is the "before", the bottom piece is the "after" (still drying). I love the results! (Thanks to my son for his help.) And I must say, the kitchen smelled yummy after we were done.



A little bit of embroidery (a simple running stitch to look intentionally handmade) and I was ready to sew. (The Raggedy Ann doll is a new favorite of my daughters - a gift from her grandma.)

I won't go into detail on the rest, save to say that I made several adjustments along the way. I'm still not happy that I haven't figured out the slipstitch to close the pillow, but am otherwise happy with the results. And now we have another throw pillow! Best of all, I have another source of inspiration...and accomplishment...that I can snuggle up to any day.

Now if only it could help me sleep....

A Little Bit of This, A Little Bit of That.

I love being inspired.

I love that those "ah hah" moments where seemingly random ventures from my life just seem to tie together.

I love life.

I am accepting that there is no one path for me. Yoga is a blissful way to harmonize many of the concepts I love and I am teaching, and still plan to teach it in the future both on and off the mat. Yet teaching yoga alone does not incorporate all of "me", all of what I want to share with the world.

I love playing, dipping my toes in different pools, tossing in a heavy sprinkle of "what ifs" to whatever is on the stove. I am tickled that I am realizing (in bits and pieces) that life really can be an ongoing exploration...indeed, perhaps that is what we should strive for!

Another day, another venture: While researching Ayurveda for someone with whom I am working, cleaning up the painting splatters my son made while painting a model airplane, assisting my daughter with some more "yummies" (i.e. gummies), switching laundry, making an appointment with the doctor, and moving some more furniture back into the house on the newly-done floors (because of which my hands and back are hating me right now), I finished up this little piece of inspiration:

(Embroidery on purchased handmade paper. Someday I may make the paper, too. For now, the hours of emroidery is enough!) I may add more to it, I may hang it with some ribbon, I may just give it away to someone who needs reminded of this as well.

Regardless, I am inspired. I am running with this. I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.

P.S. Amidst all of the newly found inspiration and energy (wish I could keep this going!), I started a new blog: http://DayOfAwesomeness.blogspot.com . This blog will keep track of the goings-on of the kiddos and will hopefully keep track of all of those cute moments I would otherwise forget.

Back to the Basics

Ah, the cycles of life. On Facebook, off Facebook. Blog a lot, blog a little. So it goes. Instead of fighting against it, or apologizing for it (which I still tend to do), I'm trying to accept that sometimes my days will focus a great deal on parks with the kids, other days will involve long hours on projects around the house, and still others will find me in front of the computer screen. Life changes, as do my priorities. As my son gets ready to start Kindergarten, I'm trying to tie up my lifejacket and ready myself for the inevitable waves that are going to rock my boat.

As you'll notice, I've gone back to a more plain format for the blog. Inspired by a recent discovery of Somerset Studio books, I am on a very crafty kick. I've started sewing (can you believe it?) and am fascinated by mixed-media art. I'm still keeping my yoga on and off the mat going - I'm honoring the form it is taking. I'm playing with the incorporation of my body, yogic ideals, art, mothering, daily chores...you name it, I believe I can find ways to allow the river of passion to flow through it all.

Along with this, I plan to bring some photos to this blog to provide both a more artful blogging experience and to share some of the "offline" stuff with you.

For now, dinner calls.

My Life Poem. (Part 1?)

*I share this with you in part as a way to keep me motivated. If the energy is shared it is more likely to come back. Read this, find your own inspiration, live your own moments as best you can...and keep it going.*

This is my Life Plan.

I could write “I Will” to begin each statement, but that supposes that each thing will be done…eventually. I am this person. I AM these – right here, right now. (For those that I am not, I admit it...am FULLY ok with it...and am working right now on being what and who I am.)

I am a beautiful, strong, vulnerable, spiritual, sexy, intelligent, sensual, caring, tender woman.

I spend each minute AWAKE.

I choose to breathe, fully, every moment I can remember to so that, after awhile, it becomes habit. I get drunk on the sweet nectar that flows down my throat with each inhale and rid myself of what I no longer need with each exhale.

I live my moments in reflection of the person I am. Every activity, no matter how mundane, is devoted to my JOIE DE VIVRE.

If I find myself not wanting to do what I am doing, I stop, take a breath, and either change course or develop gratitude that I am able to be here, now, doing this.

I raise my kids with awareness that they are learning from every single thing that I do, every single moment of the day. I am either contributing to their sense of being alive or I am not.

I grow through diversity. Sometimes I release into silence, the birds singing in my back yard, a gentle shaded living room, a prolonged kiss on my child’s forehead. Sometimes I dance with boisterous pop music, sing on the sidewalks in public with my kids, skip for no reason, pound away on the Wii drums.

Sometimes I am strong through my words and actions, sometimes I am strong through my absence of any action at all.

I am ok with every conscious decision I make. Drinking an iced chai and a glass of wine every day doesn’t make me a bad person. Skipping the chai and the wine doesn’t make me a good person.

If I am aware that I am off course – evidenced all too often by negativity towards my husband, lack of patience towards my children, or general lack of interest in the day’s activities – I stop. I take the time that I need to refocus and become re-inspired and start again.

When I stop to re-energize, I find the appropriate source of energy. HGTV might inspire me if I don’t know what to do with the day, but will not help me engage with my husband. Likewise, a long hug with my husband or my children will bring us together, but may not help me in the middle of the day when I don’t know what to do next.

Nature, when properly given attention, is always a good source of energy. When properly sipped, so is a good iced chai.

I always keep the big picture – my joie de vivre – in mind when moving forward.

I always remember that everyone else is searching for their own joy in life, whether or not it appears so at the time. During the times I have it to share, it is my responsibility to be joyful for both myself and those around me.

Ignorance is a sleeping pill and I choose not to judge those who are sleepwalking. Those who are awake may only be so momentarily and are struggling in the same manner I am. I choose not to judge those who suffer to find happiness just like myself.

Because every Now is the only time I have to make a decision, and because one will be made for me if I choose not to make it, I decide to have a say. The wind will blow in the rains but it is up to me if, when stuck in the rainstorm with a kid on my hip and the other splashing in puddles, I choose to delight in the cool tingles on my cheeks or get pissed that my jeans are wet.

One body. That is it, it’s all I have. I choose to take care of it as best as I can through properly hydrating it, building and rebuilding it with energizing nutrition, strengthening it through exercise and activity, and indulging it regularly with luxurious beauty treatments and occasional dark chocolate and Uno’s pizza.

I am so much more than a body. I devote myself to mindfulness, yoga, spiritual exploration, and regular meditation not because I have to but because it is a direct and blissful way to be who I am.

I accept that this list is ongoing as is my life. I may add to it at any time. I may change my mind. I may completely abandon it in favor of something else. I may even eventually abandon my idea of self. Time ticks on.

Time to be living.

Find the Unicorn...

So many things to share! I think constantly of ideas on which to blog, but, as evidenced by the lack of entries here, only about 1% actually make it to the computer. Here's one that finally got there.

I recently watched a movie with my kids that we rented from the library (free entertainment - YEA!): The Voyage of the Unicorn. One of the catch phrases of the movie was "Credendo Vides" - By believing, one sees. A magical thought for sure. Ironically, this ties into more mainstream ideas upon which I've been reflecting - namely, how our perceptions shape our world.

A quick example: Growing up I was most certainly not the popular child. I would often hear others talking about me behind my back. This grew into a habit of assuming people were always thinking the worst of me. When passing someone in the hallway, I'd "KNOW" they were judging me and always kept my eyes down to avoid the inevitable scowling stare.

Because I believed this, I saw only judgement around me. I felt only judgement from others. Until my more recent years as I started understanding how my views shaped actual experience, I didn't realize that I was making this so. By assuming everyone was judging me and didn't want to be friendly, I acted towards them in a distanced manner (in theory to protect myself). If the other person had no judgments originally, however, my distanced behavior could cause them to act towards me in an unfriendly manner...thus creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Today it is fun to take this idea much deeper. What if what we believe truly is what we see? If we believe the world is a beautiful place, despite all of the suffering and hate, we see the caring innocent nature of every human being we encounter (even though sometimes it may be hidden behind layers of fear and defenses). On the other hand, if we believe humans are ultimately selfish, uncaring creatures out for physical survival...well, it isn't a pretty picture.

Today, just for fun, try to believe in the good. Regardless of what you do, who you encounter, believe that is is all ultimately beautiful and that each person is ultimately desiring the same happiness you are. Who knows what could happen? If truly what we believe is what we see (and we act based on what we see)...imagine what life could become. And who knows - perhaps one of us will run across that elusive unicorn.

Finding Peace with Niceness

After visiting the Operation Nice blog (love that one - always great inspiration for the mind and spirit!), I ran across a comment someone had left. In that comment was a link to a story.

I encourage you to check out both the Operation Nice blog (see links from this website) and the following story:

http://barbhogan.typepad.com/black_belt_scrapping/2009/02/herbert-.html

It's been a long couple of weeks for me and I'm doing all I can to aim for balance. Stories like these are reminders that each minute (whether I'm out shopping or at home with the kids) is another opportunity to pay attention to all of the love that is already there.

May you find a little nugget of niceness in your day today.

Do nothing, Do something

It has recently been brought to the forefront of my life that doing nothing is just the same as doing something.

On a mundane level, not making a decision about something is, in effect, making a decision. If you can't decide on whether to go out to dinner (or where), you basically make the decision to stay in. If you decide to delay a decision on what to watch for t.v., you make the decision to keep watching what you are watching (or doing what you are doing without the t.v. on).

Meditation is similar to this. Meditation is often thought of by those who haven't tried it as "doing nothing". But by "doing nothing", the meditator is actually doing a whole bunch. I won't go into too much depth here, but want to emphasize how important it is to make conscious decisions...because an unconscious decision is still a decision - just one you didn't take part in.

On a related note, I love the point my yoga teacher once brought up that we don't go to the gym and lift weights so that we can lift those weights. We lift the weights in order to have the strength to do things outside of the gym.

Same with meditation, or yoga, or exercising, or healthy eating. We do these things so that when situations come up that are stressful or require our strength, we have the capability to deal with them.

I've had a lot of stresses come up in life recently. I've been faced with the fact that my lack of attention to healthy eating, meditating, and yoga (even restorative as I still deal with my back issues) is in direct relation to my high stress with life off the mat. By making the decision (or avoiding the decision, I guess) to not eat healthy, not meditate and instead head for bed, and not head to the mat because of my fear of what I might do to my back, I am making a decision to increase my stress levels throughout life.

Another thing I've discovered - by avoiding making a conscious decision to live with joy, I'm making the decision to live without it. Along these lines, I recently came across a book that I am loving. "Yeah Dave's Guide to Livin' the Moment" by David Romanelli. After I purchased it, I looked it up on Amazon. At the time of this entry, there are 25 reviews - all giving it 5 stars.

You can check out more at http://www.yeahdave.com/livin-the-moment/. I love his philosophy and even more so that he advocates yoga and loves chocolate and wine. My kinda man!! It is a very humorous book and I HIGHLY recommend that you check it out.

So. I'm off to sleep to awake to another day and decide - or not - what I'm going to do.