The Type of Things I Think About

You know when you get that gut feeling that life is changing?

The past few days, I've been feeling something. I acknowledged this as "Reality Tremors"...leading up to a full-blown Life-Quake**. What is this, you ask? Good question. (And aren't you impressed I can hear your thoughts?)

**Please note - these terms were swirling around in my head before the tragedy in Haiti. I still use the terms because they are the foundation of my thoughts below, but please know I am holding in the utmost respect the individuals involved and sending as much love as I can to all affected. For more information on how to help, you can visit this link on msnbc.com. We were able to make a donation via cell phone...it only takes a minute!**

First, let me share with you my definitions of Worldviews or Realities.

Everyone has a world view - a way of looking at the world around us. Yet I shy away from using this term because, first, many haven't heard of it and, second, it seems to hold a distance...something outside of ourselves that may seem kinda important during times of deep reflection but is otherwise as easy to blow off as exercise at 6 a.m. Reality seems to hit home, to be something more....well, .... real!

Reality incorporates everything we consider to be real - from the mundane (gravity, the dishes in the sink) to the more spiritual (God or life force, morals, etc). While there are many philosophical views that delve into whether there is one "true" reality outside of perception, trying to cover those right now would make my (and your) head spin.

For the sake of this post, let's assume that everyone has their own reality. Your reality includes all of those things you know (or feel) to be "real". There might be some things you feel more confident in admitting are part of your reality -- things that others are highly likely to include in their own -- "Facts" like the computer screen on which you are reading this, that gravity is holding you in your seat right now, that the earth is round. Then there are those things that might be part of your reality but debatable to others -- "facts" (remember, this is your reality!) such as whether or not trees feel pain, God's existence or non-existence and form(s), or government cover-ups.

Reality Changes

Science is one discipline that changes the face of the more "solid" reality over the years. (Examples? Pluto went from being a planet to just a poor little ball of mass floating out there based off changed definitions of a "planet". Way farther back, the earth went from being flat to round. Wouldn't that just blow your mind?!)

Individual realities can (and do) also change...and this is where things get interesting for me.

Again, there are the more "solid" aspects of individual reality that can change - you go from being a renter to a home-owner, or single to married, for example. Many of these are labels that are part of your reality that are changed by external factors.

Then there are the more "fluid" aspects of reality (those things less agreed upon) that can be changed by external or internal factors. Senses of security (which are very real indeed) can be completely undermined by a tragedy such as a fire that destroys all of your belongings or the untimely death of a family member. What may be a very real priority can be suddenly deemed unimportant by a near-death experience. Global tragedies can cause some to question their religious beliefs.

The list goes on...but these changes are the suckers that hit you in the gut. They don't need to be negative - the birth of a child, for example, can create a wonderful new reality where the beauty of life is highlighted in the mundane!

Re-Membering Reality

So, if only for the few moments I have your attention with this post, if we can agree that:

*Everyone has their own reality

*Realities are always changing

the next question is, ...So?!

Think about it for a minute. (Go ahead. The following words will still be here when you are done.)

If reality is your own and is constantly changing, doesn't that bring up an awesome realization of the power (and thus, responsibility) we have to create our lives? If you really do have the power to determine whether or not you are happy, secure, and well-off, to determine where you live and how...whoa. That's a lot to take on. (I'll bet the "Yeah, But...."s are already coming up. I can read your mind, remember?!)

There are external factors. (Bills, survival necessities, other peoples' realities) But if your reality truly is your own, and is changing right now (and right now. And Now. And....Now.), don't you think you have a say-so in which direction it is changing? I'm not saying you can make it rain right now (or could you? ...) :), but that by accepting a little belief that your Reality is your Own, and created moment-by-moment by You, that life is one big ball of possibility, exploration, and FUN.

And all those other people who are being real right beside you? If you can remember that they are going through this monumental task of realizing their own reality and deciding how to create it, perhaps you can give them a little slack and share a little "I know what you're going through" smile. It ain't easy, but the rewards? Beyond description.

If your reality includes a larger force (God, Goddess, life force, etc.), imagine if it really was our responsibility (collectively AND INDIVIDUALLY) to partner up with it/her/him in creating this whole thing called life.

If we can all realize that we're creating this big Reality that incorporates all of us, if we can all Re-Member (put it back together),...can you imagine the power that humanity would have to help and heal? No more dreams of world peace or food for everyone - it would just be reality.

Back to Square One

I've still been training for the mini-marathon and triathlon (more on that in another post).

I've still been creating and working on mixed-media projects with my sewing machine (I have some photos I am SO excited to share of some projects I've been working on...but more on that in another post).

I'm still doing yoga (with music and without), figuring out this whole motherhood thing, and plodding through the mundane (But....You guessed it...more on that in another post. See? Read your mind again. Freaky, huh?)

While I'm doing all of this, these are the sort of thoughts that run through my head. When I allow myself time to slow down and sort through them, and when I bring those thoughts into Action, they become REAL and enrich my life in ways I never imagined possible.

Those reality tremors I mentioned at the beginning of the post? Whether they are internal tremors (thoughts that are crying out loud enough they know they'll be heard) or external (I'm picking up on the energies of life changing around me), they are just as real as if something were happening that others could see. I've experienced great energy bursts in the past 24 hours that have made my fingers tingle, words are spilling out in my journal that I didn't even know I thought, and the mundane is like a living, breathing being sending me signals to pay attention. (Don't worry - The laundry hasn't talked to me...yet.)

I know it may seem a bit overwhelming, but for me, an ocean's depth of a mind is just my reality. You may empathize with my husband who claims he'd go insane if he tried to step into my brain.

I just smile though, because these are the type of things I think about...and as my thoughts flow with my reality, life becomes one big beautiful pool in which to swim.

Doing What Needs To Be Done

Tonight, I did what had to be done.

It wasn't easy.

I had to leave my husband alone to watch a football game.

I had to creep away from the kids who were racing around the house screaming loud enough that I'm sure the neighbors are questionning our household activities.

I had to sulk away from the dog who was barking at the kids, at my husband, at me - anyone he could get to pay attention to him.

I had to leave the dishes, which are not only in the sink but scattered around the house.

I had to step over the laundry pile, which is almost caught up from our time away from the house but seemed to grow while we were out visiting family and the park today.

I had to quiet my mind which was reminding me that all of this will be there tomorrow morning, and if I'd only put away one dish or start one load of laundry or take care of one email that I'd be that much further ahead....because I knew that doing one thing means I'd do it all.

I had to step away because I knew what was best for me.

I had to replenish with this:



And accomplish a bit more on this:



I hope tomorrow morning I am at peace with my decision...and that I can make the same one again when needed. I hope that you, too, find peace with whatever decisions brought you to the end of your day.

Why is it so hard sometimes to ignore the mess around us to take care of the mess that is within?

The Presen(ts)/(ce) of Snow

I've been a busy mommy the past few days, thus, a fairly absent blogger. A snow storm (and cold chill) has hit the Midwest...which led to school being cancelled both Thursday and Friday. It's been a great exploration of Family minus scheduled activities.

Bless my hubby - on the first day, I just wasn't in the mood to be in the snow despite the excitement and begging from our 5 year old (and the 2 year old who just did it because her brother was). I repeatedly came up with excuses/reasons why we couldn't go out. (Yup, mother of the year here.) After hubby arrived home from work, he took our son out for some chillin' with daddy time.


(Of note: The first snow angel my son did was face down. He quickly learned face up was way more fun.)

Part of the reason I didn't want to go out (beyond my selfish ones) was the lack of snow gear we had for the kids. The temporary solution?



We all enjoyed some hot chocolate after the fun-but-brief romp outside. I let Tyler add his own marshmallows.


(I think his cocoa ended up being more marshmallow than actual liquid.)

Friday was a more peaceful day. I spent a good half an hour sitting at our front window, staring out at a bush in our front yard. At any given time, there were probably 10 birds that were using it for shelter...and I was truly entranced by the messages we shared.


(How many birds can you find?)

This little fellow has visited us many times throughout the year. I think that day we were both enjoying just observing the world around us.



Today we ventured out and purchased boots for both kids. They were THRILLED. (Way better than plastic bags.)



Unfortunately, the temperature has also dropped today. I took the kids out for a brief bit. Dilana learned quickly from her brother how to make a snowball - and fervently tried to keep up with him.



Within 5 minutes, teeth were chattering and it was time to head in.

A brief post about a few days filled with memories...I almost wish this weekend wouldn't end. And yet, in these peaceful late night hours...I find myself wishing for nothing at all.

Gratitude for what is.

Snow Day

I woke this morning to my husband whispering to me that school was cancelled. Unfortunately, such news doesn't carry the same excitement it used to when a day off school meant frolicking in the snow, t.v. shows, time at home with mom and dad and, well...no school!

Everyone was up around their usual times anyway and hubby had to head on to work. Funny enough, I realized that a snow day meant just another "day at work" for mommy, too. Here's how our morning has been:

Getting dressed for work.


Morning rush hour and traffic jam.


Grumpy co-workers.


My Inbox.


Getting the job done.


Mid-morning melt-down before a caffeine break.
(courtesy of our new Christmas toy, a Crayola crayon maker)

Putting on our thinking caps.


Let's hope the rest of the work day continues like it started.
I'm rediscovering why snow days truly are so fun...

Free to be Me

There is a definite change happening within. I feel more ... me. I don't know if it is being in my 30's, where I am in life, or something more global in nature, but I love it.

Creativity stems more from my spirit instead of a drive to create something someone else might want. Decisions are made with awareness of, but indifference towards, the judgments of others. I won't claim 100% success in this area, but the current rate of success is astounding me.

Because these feelings are fairly recent, I don't have a lot of words to describe it. A recent visit to the Indianapolis Children's Museum should suffice to sum it up.

There was a visiting exhibit - Barbie - which I knew I just had to visit. I've gone between my tom-boy and girly-girl stages and am settling into loving being both. I adored the pink. I ooh-ed and ah-ed over the fashions. I loved remembering the itty bitty shoes and hairstyles.

And being in the state that I am, I felt free to walk through and giggle at it all without feeling pressure to look like the impossibly shaped figures.

Ladies, can we celebrate it together?? :

Lovely as she may be,

Barbie ain't got nothin' on me.

The Yogic Beat

I decided to change things up a bit this morning.



I'll readily admit falling behind - a lot - on my yoga practice. It has mostly consisted of random legs-up-the-wall or a few sun salutations here and there. (For those non-yoga practitioners reading this...don't worry. That's about as "technical" as I'll get.)


This morning, I knew I needed a bit of strength training but my body felt ready to move, to flow. So I put on my workout playlist (yeah, that one I referred to earlier with music as random as Britney Spears to Def Leppard) and started a core-strengthening / yogic mix of body movement.


It was amazing.


From plank to downward dog, triangle to head-to-knee (ok, a few more poses mentioned - sorry) I did what my body ached for and moved with the music and my breath.

As a registered yoga teacher, I knew what I needed to do to keep my body aligned.

As a mindful practitioner, I recognized what I needed to do to keep myself away from pain (that darn spine issue kept me quite awake).

As an open spirit, I felt where I needed to move...and the music provided the beat.


This could easily lead into a discussion of what yoga is and is not - what exactly consititutes practicing yoga (at least the physical, on-the-mat yoga) and what is just "yoga-like". It's a discussion worth having.


Suffice to say for now, I'm fairly liberal on my definition of yoga. Yoga, in part by definition, is Unity. Unity of mind and body, breath and movement, strength and stillness, mundane and spiritual.


This morning, I re-found unity using the energy of music. I danced, I moved, I was aware of what was in the moment that it was. My body, my core, my breath, and my smile were all flowing together. I was in joy.


Regardless of what we call it, isn't that a great place to be??

A Simple Wish

We don't see things
as they are.

We see things
as we are.

-Anias Nin

In this new year, May you see all that you are.