It ain't pretty.
I have all the stuff I'd need, bits of time here and there to get the job done, and a very strong desire to make it happen....but I just haven't done it!
I know I've heard about this before. This blockage. And I've definitely fallen prey to it - countless times.
But this time, I've felt the emptiness that a confined life creates. I feel the loneliness of my soul as it longs to fly free, to manipulate my fingers, to paint, to stamp, to type and share these countless thoughts the soul has manifested in my mind. And yet, I keep it under lock and key.
The "shoulds" creep back in. I "should" be creating for someone else. I am still running into that creative block when I sit down with all my lovely play things and wonder, "now what"? Sadly, I have a hard time creating just for myself - for the sake of exploration, for spiritual play.
Right now at least I have an excuse of sorts to create again. The holiday season is quickly approaching and I am determined to make all of my cards this year. So last night, the kids and I sat down at the dining room table. I pulled out countless materials - ribbons, glitter, cardstock, glue, scissors, stamps, crayons, markers - put on some music, and just played. I ended up finishing only one card before I had to start dinner. I left the materials out when we were done. This is what the table currently looks like:
This morning, I've done 2 more cards. And, as with anything else, I'm re-discovering that the first steps are almost always the hardest. The cards today took way less time than my over-thought card from yesterday. I'm just as happy with the latter as I am the former.
Relaxing, letting go. Being in the situation and the right mindset, being present, and letting the body and spirit take control. (The mind will pipe up frequently - you can listen, but use only the thoughts that tickle the spirit, honor the soul, and comfort the body.) They are lessons that can be applied in every situation. For my next creative venture....
I tighten up again just thinking about it. Tomorrow, we will run our 5K. We got out yesterday to try the course...I was so worked up about it that it ended up being a bit less threatening than I thought. But just a bit. It is truly a hilly nightmare, with the last 1/3 almost all uphill.
I'm thrilled, I'm nervous, I'm excited, ... it's all there. I'm concerned I won't be able to sleep tonight. Poor hubby has to work after the race. Fortunately, he begins a vacation after that so we plan to celebrate (as long as he can stay awake) on Saturday evening.
So, my lovely friends, let me take your hand as we take the next step together. Let's laugh with our fears, smile through the tears, and enjoy that blissful way of being when, no matter how stuck we may be or challenging the road ahead of us, we just know that we're on the soul's path. And it is delicious.
Deep breath, and let's get this party started....