The last night of 2010. Nothing like a little pressure.
Honestly, I’d thrown around a couple of words. But in realizing I only have a few hours left, I’ve been searching Thesauruses (Thesauri??), cheating by looking at others’ words, meditating in hopes I’d have an epiphany, and gazing into my crystal ball. (Ok, maybe not the last one. But wouldn’t that be cool??)
I felt the pressure to find the right word. After all, it’s going to carry me through an entire year! What if I picked a word and then on January 2nd I think of a MUCH better one, like some perfect comeback that pops in your head two hours after the argument is over…what a failure I’d be! (*snicker*)
To my lovely sisters in the Tribe, I had offered “Dharma”. It had struck something in me. Seemed broad enough. Pretty unique. But it had only plucked one string…not played a chord.
***
Of course, the answer was the hat on my head that I’d turned the house upside-down to find. Right here. What has been floating around LifeUnity the past few weeks? What have I said it all begins with? (Quiz time – you get a happy face sticker if you guess correctly)
Awareness.
It all begins with awareness.
There are reasons I want to not use this word.
And while I can get over the fact that the big moment might have been a let-down (this doesn’t usually happen, promise!), and have faith that I’ll find an equally exciting word on Dec. 31st, 2011, that last reason is a stumper.
Living awareness means being constantly aware – of who I am and how I am consequently acting based off of that awareness. It means knowing my phenomenal self and taking responsibility for that self.
It means that when I’m fighting with hubby and I’m aware that I’m turning into psycho-wife or that he may just be right (if it happens to be 1 of the 999 times that he is), I have to acknowledge that. Out loud. Yeah. Bet the thought of that scares you too.
Or if I read or see something that no longer harmonizes with my song (for example, business techniques that just feel…dehumanizing), being aware of my discomfort and not charging right along with the crowd. No matter how many thousands of people are dancing to the other music.
There are so many more situations I can think of to use as examples, but I’m getting a bit queasy thinking about them. Right here, right now, I’m shaking it off and moving into awareness.
So there you are. My word – my practice - for 2011: Awareness.
I will continue to blog about how this manifests in my life, how it ties in with Yoga and Buddhism and art and running and parenting and shaving and belly blob. I will probably become more adamant about you becoming more aware as well. (I love you and all, but I selfishly don’t want to constantly bump into a whole bunch of sleepwalkers.)
And we’ll continue our journey together, scratching out the 2010 for the next few weeks on documents as we forget our mindful awareness.
In full awareness and with wishes for many beautiful days ahead,
Of course, the answer was the hat on my head that I’d turned the house upside-down to find. Right here. What has been floating around LifeUnity the past few weeks? What have I said it all begins with? (Quiz time – you get a happy face sticker if you guess correctly)
Awareness.
It all begins with awareness.
There are reasons I want to not use this word.
- You’ve already heard it. It feels like giving a big drum roll and then opening the 2-story red velvet curtain to reveal…….canned spam. Eh.
- It is “my word”. The biggie. The one that is already changing everything. How can that be a word of the year – just one year? What happens when 2012 rolls around? Can I use “awareness-est”
- It scares me. Honestly. To commit to this is committing to you (and more importantly, to myself), to LIVE this word.
And while I can get over the fact that the big moment might have been a let-down (this doesn’t usually happen, promise!), and have faith that I’ll find an equally exciting word on Dec. 31st, 2011, that last reason is a stumper.
Living awareness means being constantly aware – of who I am and how I am consequently acting based off of that awareness. It means knowing my phenomenal self and taking responsibility for that self.
It means that when I’m fighting with hubby and I’m aware that I’m turning into psycho-wife or that he may just be right (if it happens to be 1 of the 999 times that he is), I have to acknowledge that. Out loud. Yeah. Bet the thought of that scares you too.
Or if I read or see something that no longer harmonizes with my song (for example, business techniques that just feel…dehumanizing), being aware of my discomfort and not charging right along with the crowd. No matter how many thousands of people are dancing to the other music.
There are so many more situations I can think of to use as examples, but I’m getting a bit queasy thinking about them. Right here, right now, I’m shaking it off and moving into awareness.
So there you are. My word – my practice - for 2011: Awareness.
I will continue to blog about how this manifests in my life, how it ties in with Yoga and Buddhism and art and running and parenting and shaving and belly blob. I will probably become more adamant about you becoming more aware as well. (I love you and all, but I selfishly don’t want to constantly bump into a whole bunch of sleepwalkers.)
And we’ll continue our journey together, scratching out the 2010 for the next few weeks on documents as we forget our mindful awareness.
In full awareness and with wishes for many beautiful days ahead,
Namaste and Happy New Year.