I have nowhere to go.
And I am waking up to who I am.
(a variation on the title of a book I am reading by Thich Nhat Hanh.)
I am still here, missing several days of blogging, hundreds of Facebook updates, and thousands of Tweets. I am not shunning the online world by any means - I have met the most fascinating people here and have no intentions of letting these relationships go.
I am, however, resolving to dance with this state of being as long as it takes to embody the dance. That means not walking off of the dance floor to take care of that which previously seduced me. I will learn these moves until my muscles embody every turn and twist, until my face memorizes the feel of the breeze that blows past.
I don't know what this means in the outside world. I don't yet know this dance and where it will whirl me to.
I will dance with the dishes, dance with the bills, dance with the painful memories that are surfacing. Dance with my anger, dance with the decisions.
The computer that sits just off of the dance floor blinking with unread messages? The financial security that whistles softly from beneath the bleachers that can be mine if only I focus on Business instead of this "pointless" dance? The Sale signs that tempt me just out the door, leading to hundreds of bargains? Those fears that keep sneaking on the dance floor, laughing like a bullying high school girl, trying to trip me up?
I have nowhere else to go but here.
I have nothing else to do but this dance.
I resolve to live nothing else other than what is.
Lest I leave you with just some random peak into my reality, I challenge you: DANCE.
Tell me, you wise being (for indeed you are), what does your dance look like right now? Jazzy? Slow-dancing to soft music? Do you enjoy your dance partner? Are you afraid? Guilty? Tired?