How Not To Respond

While packing I noticed it was strangely quiet around the house.

Me: "Dilana?"

Dilana: "I'm not doing anything!"

Me: "Dilana...."

Dilana: "I'm not in the bathroom!!"

Me: "DILANA."

Dilana: "I don't have the toothpaste!"

Me: "Dilana, come here."

Dilana: "....I'm not doing anything!"

-----

On another note, the anxiety has started for tomorrow's race (to be followed by ample food and family frivolity). The excitement is a bit dilluted, however, because I just know we'll be overwhelmed by 8000+ runner/walkers, temps in the 30's, and rain or snow. It may not be about the running...rather, just making it through the morning.

I hope to add another post tonight, but if not...I'll definitely update tomorrow.

Happy Thanksgiving Eve.

Priorities

It amazes me during this time of typically busy schedules & hectic minds how I and others maintain - or rearrange - priorities.

This year I am finding that my priorities are leaning more towards self expression than anything else. Don't get me wrong...I'm still a running around trying to clean the house, find a receipe for at least one yummy dish (this year it is for Pumpkin Oatmeal Raisin Cookies...I can't wait!), balance schedules between family and in-laws, and maintain the usual day-to-day appointments.

Yet with my yoga self now deeply ingrained, a creative self re-emerging, and an active self pursuing goal-after-goal, I'm finding those "other things" just aren't as important. My, it feels good.

A few examples of what has been popping up as I allow my soul to speak:

I woke one morning to a stunning fog. Instead of just ignoring it, I pulled out my camera and took a few minutes on the back deck to photograph it and just breathe it all in. I can still feel the moist coolness in my nose and it is delicious. I just kept thinking "mystical" - I almost expected to see a fairy or two fluttering about.

I also got it in my head that I wanted to do something for Tyler's classmates (teacher, & bus driver too...I didn't get the thought in time for the art, music, PE teachers & librarian). Going to Target for the dollar bins wasn't quite capturing the mood...so I spent some time (probably a bit too much) making, printing, & coloring cards.

Tyler helped by coloring each "Thanksgiving"...though by the end the coloring was more of a scribbled shading. He also signed each one.
(They read "This Thanksgiving I'm Thankful For ... YOU! Thanks for being my classmate and friend. Happy Thanksgiving")

It took several hours but it feels good to have done them. It feels RIGHT. And that's where all of this is going.

I still have to pack, get everything together for the race on Thursday morning, groccery shop tomorrow, finish up some other Thanksgiving gifts, get the house clean for family coming over on Friday, do laundry, etc etc etc. Yet that just feels like busy work. Just like every other year.

This year, the acts of kindness - towards others AND myself - just feel right. I don't know if priorities are finally coming in line with my values and it's that harmony that is singing or if I'm just getting lucky and the schedule traffic jam is a few days away.

Regardless, I'm hoping this feeling stays. This attention to what feels good, to trying to make others feel good, to health, kindness, ... it's rubbing off on the kids too. I've noticed they've both been in better moods. Again, who knows if it's the whole cliche of if mommy ain't happy, ain't nobody happy...but if mommy's doing well, everybody's lucky.....or if I'm tapping into a deeper energy that is pooling around the kids as well.

I love it. Thanksgiving is truly that this year - a giving of thanks. To myself, to others, to you oh-wonderful-reader-of-this-blog, to those less fortunate and those more fortunate.

Ah, but hopefully more on the deep meaning of Thanksgiving in the coming days. For now, back to preparing for the events to celebrate it.

From the mouth of babes.

In the midst of all of the Thanksgiving preparations (and race prep, etc) going on, I almost forgot to blog! Thanks to a conversation with a good friend I can keep the promise to blog every weekday. :)

Today is a day for laughs, and where better to turn for humor than a child?

(For those who visited my blog dayofawesomeness.blogspot.com , this better belongs there. But I haven't had time to keep up with it, so enjoy it here!!)

We decorated our daughter's room with those fun stick-on things you can put on the wall (that are repositionable - so much fun!). Above her changing table, we have the phrase:

(Change is good. Oh yeah, we do have a sense of humor.)

Well since she could talk we've been working with her on the phrases and letters around her room. Our routine was always to say, "Change Is...." To which she'd reply, "GOOD!". It's a fun game.

A few weeks ago I was up changing her diaper (yeah, the whole potty training thing isn't working so well). I pointed up to the letters and said, "Change...."

to which she replied,

"MY DIAPER!".

Gotta love her.

Block Knockers

Note: I've read the intentions of many bloggers who aim to keep their blog positive, joyful. They know there is so much negativity in the world that they try to keep at least their little blog corner a source of positivity. I truly admire that. That intention, however, is not my own. I aim to be as honest as I can (without getting too personal) in this blog. I KNOW that there are others out there going through the same stuggles that I am. My hope is that by sharing this, those persons may not feel so alone...and that, together, we can learn to realize these struggles are part of the beauty of the whole. Without them, the successes have no meaning. So - if you are looking for a positive boost....you may want to check back on a different day.

Ever experienced one of those events that just knocks you right off your block? It can be a great morning, or a great day, or a great week...but one li'l event later and you feel deflated.

As you can probably guess, I had one of those today. I won't go into details suffice to say that it was a financial punch and one that will continue to effect our family for at least the next year. We'll be ok - and I almost feel guilty for feeling so deflated. There are individuals and families who get by on far less than we do and I am constantly thankful for our blessings. Yet the *oomph* remains.

As it usually is with financial concerns, I can't do anything to pick myself back up. Creative endeavors, deep breathing, playing with the kids...for whatever reason, my smile seems to not fit on my face.

Yet, I know this too shall pass. I know (deep down) that this is such a small event, no where near a catastrophe, something that is indeed a lesson and thus, a gift.

I find in these situations that it is a true test of how deep the lessons I've studied have permeated my being. Kind of like the idea I mentioned before...I've lifted weights and am now testing my strength outside of the weight room. I embrace creativity, yogic ideals, mindfulness, and so many other beneficial practices. During my good times they are easy to follow. It is during the rocky times that for me (and I'd guess most others), I get to see how well I walk the walk.

So, I take a deep breath. I've been doing mindless work entering forms (i.e. accomplishing something - helps the spirit a bit!) while the kids watch a movie. I don't feel guilty.

I'm doing what I can to pick myself back up, to get back in tune with that beautiful song I know is still playing within me and all around me.

We've all been (and will continue to be) knocked off our block, shaken up and stirred. As others have claimed it's not whether or not it happens, it's how quickly we pick ourselves back up and the lessons we take with us from the fall that matters.

So hum a little with me, won't you? Let's keep singing together until this beautiful melody we call life gets stuck in our heads forever.

Creative Mommy-ing

Today I feel like a mom.

I spent the afternoon preparing for the PTO meeting, ran the kids to the groccery to get snacks for my son's class tomorrow after he got home, stopped quickly at McDonalds (after I couldn't find a parking spot to go the restaurant I wanted to go to...I very rarely go to McD's!), and made it in time for the PTO meeting. An hour and a half later, I got home, got the kids brushing their teeth then straight to bed and spent 45 minutes packing up the snacks for tomorrow.

For those who know me, this might be a bit suprising...I'm not the mommy kind of mom.

But I did put my spin on the whole thing. For the meeting, I typed up the results of a recent survey - in color. Not only that, but since I only had one copy to pass around I decided it could be at least fun to look at. I took my eyelets & some silver ribbon to spruce it up! We also had a raffle for parents who had entered - I cut up each of the entries, made a couple of quick bags with the cricut, and brought the slips of paper in those.


The snacks? I didn't have time to get creative with the food (making celery boats or anything...and I don't think we're allowed to cook anything - not that I would have anyway :) )...so I got creative with the packaging. Gotta love those stamps!



Why do I share this? To inspire someone who longs to be creative but doesn't think they have the outlet to INFUSE LIFE WITH CREATIVITY.

I recall several articles in Stampington/Somerset Studio publications (LOVE those - http://www.stampington.com/ ) where Jenny Doh (the creative editor of at least one of their publications) takes this to heart - beautiful school supplies for her daughter, office supplies that are dolled up. She and others like her inspire me to do what I can to bring that creative fun, that juicy living, to the "have-to's".

I've a lot more to share (in particular my on again off again love affair with running) but it is late. Gotta wind down that creative energy and try to sleep...so I can enjoy it all again tomorrow!

What is "Busy"?

At the start of my day I was already overwhelmed. The funny thing is, there was only one "meeting" (a social get-together) at 2:00. Otherwise, it was me, the kids, hubby (his day off before his big 7 day stretch)...and my unscheduled to-do's.

I currently have TEN windows open on my laptop.

• 7 websites on which I want to follow up (send an email, purchase an item, read more...),


• 2 word documents (one general reflection, the other - a starting outline for yet another idea for a workshop/event I'd like to plan), and


• 1 Excel document containing the results of a school progress survey (for my son's school) I am helping to coordinate, evaluate, and move forward with.

This does not include the windows open on my desktop downstairs. I'm currently uploading photos and browsing another blog on that computer.

I have the following thoughts on my mind:

• I need to update my blog (design), my photo site, and my yoga website (sadly neglected for months)


• The laundry is mid-cycle -I need to finish it and get the sheets done.


• The kiddos are playing on their own, but I should be interacting with them.


• The garage is full of the clutter we cleared out of the house this summer. I really need to donate/sell/toss it so I can get my car in the garage...preferably in the next week.


• I have a week left to finish 30+ holiday cards. Knowing my schedule, that amounts to at least 5 cards / day.


• Thanksgiving is NEXT WEEK. The 4.5 mile run is NEXT WEEK. I have a ton of preparation to do for both of those.

I'll stop there -- it could go on but the list might cause the blog to lock up.

I'm constantly moving (naps really aren't in my schedule any more); I have a to-do list that grows by the second; and I keep adding to the things that are on my mind (creative projects, blogs to follow, friends to follow-up with, projects to finally finish around the house, workouts to do, etc). Between dinner, the kids' baths, story time, switching laundry, blah blah blah it is going to be an active night. Tomorrow is a PTO meeting where we present the results of the survey, I have (get) to do 5 (or 10) christmas cards...

And yet, I didn't go to work today. I didn't cook (yet). I had/made time for a delicious chat with a girlfriend over chai topped off with some vintage-goods shopping. I had no appointments, no business meetings, not even a doctors appointment. My husband was even here to help with the kids.

Time goes (flies) by, activities & energies wax and wane. It has become a status symbol, in a way, in our society to be Busy. ("Whew - what a day! I had 39 meetings, 412 phone calls, 5 lunches with corporate folks..." or " I have to run the kids to soccer then ballet then school then groccery shop then pick up the kids to run them to basketball then karate then music lessons then therapy...")

Yet what is "Busy"? Activites on the calendar? Enough on the schedule to justify being stressed? Every minute of the day accounted for?

I have none of those things, yet I would certainly consider today busy. My spirit was spinning, my creative juices flowing, my mind (unfortunately) chattering away. I kept moving and even when I wasn't, my mind kept my mouth gabbing and my thoughts spinning.

What do you consider busy? Would you consider a stay-at-home mom with nothing on her schedule busy? What about the CEO who took a 2 hour lunch in between 5 meetings - busy? The artist meditating on the next piece to be created - busy?

I'd contemplate the meaning and present a deep, moving definition here...but I'm busy.

Live the Life You've Imagined

Go Confidently in the Direction of Your Dreams. Live the Life You've Imagined. -Thoreau

I have worn this bracelet almost every day for the past 3 1/2 years. It was given to me by my father. I didn't think much about the sentiment beyond its poetic beauty when it was gifted to me. Yet each day since, it has sunk a little deeper into my conscious.

I've always had the courage to be a little off the beaten path - at least in my mind. Yet because of my fears of wanting to be "liked", to be "accepted", I didn't even wonder what my own dreams might be during the years they should have been developing. I was ok not being like others...but didn't know who I was.

Several years ago I started realizing that while I had the confidence - the get-up-and-go attitude - I had no map. Sputtering around sight-seeing is great but all too often I end up missing the beauty that is mine to be seen.

My dreams. The life I've Imagined. It changes frequently. Yet it is in the searching, the self-awareness, the knowing oneness of myself, others, god, my path...that stability is found. I don't have to know exactly what routes I'm going to take (what job I might pursue, the techniques I'll use for disciplining the kids, the techniques I'll use in my crafting, the type of yoga I want to practice daily, which road I'll take to get in my mileage for training) but I do need to be in touch with my Self. My dreams, my fears, my child, my morbidity....

It is by living that life that my soul already knows, honoring the unique self and the role I am to play that I find each path leads me through the life I've imagined.

So go within and go forth. Be confident. Dream. Live the Life You've Imagined.